JFK - The Truth is Out There, Far Out There

A new conspiracy theory about the deaths of John F Kennedy and his 'assassin' has emerged after a new photograph of Lee Harvey Oswald's 'murder'. The photograph clearly shows Ruby did not shoot Oswald as alleged but was a close friend and a mean guitarist. What is supposed to be a murder is actually an impromptu performance of 'Jailhouse Rock.'



American tabloid journalist, Saul Bollux, claims, "This is the truth - all those photos were clearly doctored to lead us a merry dance. Oswald was a singer - and a very good one too - but knew there was no future for his career back in the USSR. That's why he returned to Dallas."

Kennedy first met Oswald in the 1950s in a gay bar in Boston, Mass. "He was just seventeen - you know what I mean.", Bollux continued. "Kennedy was tiring of politics and wanted to escape. Pop music was the answer and his new gay lover offered that escape. But his father, Joe, wanted him to be President."

After his election the scene was set for JFK to engineer his own disappearance using Kennedy dollars and CIA know-how, claims Bollux. "Oswald was not the patsy - it was Jack Ruby. People have been sent to prison for crimes they didn't commit but his was a crime that didn't happen - his lawyer should have pointed it out but he was obviously in the pay of the Kennedys"

"The plan was to make everyone think JFK was dead and that his assassin was murdered - and it worked. The conspiracy theories only added to the myth. The truth is both Kennedy and Oswald left for a new life in Poughkeepsie, New York, where they had a little gay night club. Kennedy would often don pearls and twinset and Oswald his best tuxedo. They would sing duets from the Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme songbook till the early hours."

"They were a local sensation. J Edgar Hoover was a regular but didn't approve of the cross-dressing - pearls weren't his jewelry of choice."

But what about the Zapruder film? "Zapruder-Schmapruder - the film was left in a vault for years until the technology was developed to make it look like Kennedys brain exploded like a pumpkin. All the time he was living it up in the fleshpots of Poughkeepsie while Oswald sang Elvis songs - he was one of the all-time great Elvis impersonators"

If accepted the theory of Saul Bollux looks like overturning every account of the Kennedy assassination the public has ever heard.

"This is the truth, man - everything else is just a footnote in history."