Jedi Squirrels Terrorise Neighbourhood Parks

Park officials are becoming increasingly worried about the activity of squirrels in London's Hyde Park. Spokesperson Luke Nofurther said, "It was bad enough having to watch them nibbling their nuts but this is serious. They seem to be fighting among themselves."

He explained, "At first it seemed to be just playful but now they have all gotten light sabres - I blame the big asthmatic one in the black cloak."


Passers-by have also become worried. One said, "The kiddies loved to watch their antics but since the fencing started it's been hell. My little boy wants to join them and conquer the known universe. I want him to finish Key Stage Three first."

The latest development is the unusual construction work going on near the Serpentine Lido. Luke Nofurther said, "They seem to have brought in some Polish squirrels to build something. Obviously it was a bigger job than the domestic squirrels could handle. There are rumours that it might be a new Death Star."