Useless Proverbs .com

This site describes itself as the most pointless site on the internet. It isn't. Who can say they have not taken the advice on offer here? For example, "Never take an elephant to the cinema.". I know I haven't and I know only a few people who have.

Clearly this site is more use to the world than it imagines and I recommend it to everyone. Its authors should recall one of its own proverbs, "An ambitious cow won't build is nest in a lawnmower". Wise words indeed.

This Boy Has Two Fathers

The Netherlands is famous for its liberalism so it isn't surprising to see this clip from Dutch television. I don't know what the show is but this boy sings about his two fathers. It's a catchy tune and really cheesy but we can take it can't we?



Who knows how long it will be before he appears on Blue Peter singing in English? Britain can't even get to grips with gay adoption so probably a long way in the future.

What's wrong with the idea of two gay men looking after a baby anyway? They probably know plenty about putting talcum powder on a sore bottom.

White House Press Conference in 2012

A look forward to life in the White House in 2012. The most disturbing thing is the way events are unfolding it may not be completely wrong.



By the way, visit Outside The Box at alexansary.com if you like this sort of stuff.

Get Your Balls Out Of My Face

The trouble with a lot of outdoor leisure time is that it involves the use of the spherical object. And the next big problem is the number of times you get one in the face.

George Dubya Bush drinking - Who would have thought?

The world knows George Dubya Bush has a drink problem and well done to him if he has overcome it.

But do you ever get the sneaking suspicion that all is not what it seems. The camera never lies as this video shows



Okay - you can make anyone appear drunk if you slow down the tape. But why go to the trouble when you can get the real thing if you look around.



Only in America .....

Why would anybody be anti-American?

America is the most powerful nation in the world economically and militarily but why should that make anyone anti-American? If power is used wisely then there should be no problems. Isn't the world lucky to have American voters like these deciding the world's future?



On second thoughts maybe we're not so lucky.

Spongebob Mountain - The love that dare not speak its name

The love that dare not speak its name has made into the pre-school kids market.

I haven't seen Spongbob Squarepants cos I haven't been three years old for a long time. And I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain cos I don't like cowboy movies. (Seriously, I could watch a gay love story but when it comes to cowboys - bliiiaaaggghhh!)

Anyway this little trailer is very funny and if you think you'll be offended then don't watch it. And if you watch it after that warning and are offended then you're an idiot.



Anyway some kid's shows have sexual undertones if you look hard enough. Didn't the British show, Captain Pugwash, have characters called Master Bates and Seaman Stains? (No, actually - but it's funny how we remember things wrongly)

And then there's "Rainbow", the classic British children's series from the 1970s and 1980s. It would be great if this was a broadcast episode and nobody realised how much innuendo they were using. But it was never broadcast and was a tape put together for a laugh and then leaked - it was internet media's gain when it was.

Jimmy Jones for President

The American child is suckled on the breast of democracy from an early age and from an early age he or she learns that the freedoms their forefathers fought for have to be exercised from the beginning or they wither and die.

And like their adult counterparts they love to smear their opponents - it seem that as the American toddler learns to walk so they learn to put the boot in.



Mom and Dad are having a joke, right?

Fred Phelps - Only in America

Pastor Fred Phelps means very little if you are a British reader of this blog. We aren't used to the sort of fire and brimstone preaching this guy is famous for. We hear our clergy preach 'God is Love' but they have it all wrong. According to Pastor Phelps, 'God is Hate' and he has the proof.



America's comedians and satirists love him. He is such an easy target to lampoon and they don't have to write a script - he sets himself up in his own preaching.



Fred Phelps is right. God Hates America - that's why it has Pastor Fred Phelps.

A Million Thank Yous

Do you ever feel the world is a terrible place? Here we all are spinning around on this wondrous globe going about our business and what do we get? Well not very much when you think of it. Some of us are lucky to do what we like or get paid a lot of money or get some fame or happiness. I don't know who these people are but I would surely like to be one of them.

For the rest of us life is nasty, brutish and short and for all the things that we do - all the good things - do we get any thanks? Even a little acknowledgment that something we did was really helpful would be nice - fat chance.

It's a good thing we have blogging to compensate for the lack of recognition and more to the point we can find lots of lovely sites that make our day. Which is why you should check out A Million Thank Yous

You won't get to a million but a few dozen might be enough to give you the strength to get through the day.

America - Where next?

Where next for America? No it isn't a question about their political direction but the simple question, "In terms of the war against terror who should be the next country to invade?"

These guys want to invade everybody and anybody including their allies and come across as ignorant and stupid.

Thank God we have an American President of intellect and restraint in the White House - don't we?

Iraqi Athletes Deny 'Head in the Sand' Attitude to Olympics

With their nation approaching civil war it is heart warming to know the Olympic spirit has not been quenched in Iraq. Here the Iraqi high diving team continue their preparations for the Beijing Olympics despite the lack of facilities.

Wii Wii Wii - All the Way Home

Like a lot of the world's kids - the big ones as well - a girlfriend's son got a Wii for Christmas. Whoopee! - I just couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

Sadly my chance to show my prowess had to wait a week - when I visited he was in his room with his friends playing with it (his Wii, I mean).

The following week the kids were banished and the adults could try it out and it just shows how badly out of shape we must be. I'm glad I knocked out my boxing opponent in two rounds cos I think I would have collapsed in the third - not virtually but for real.

So there is speculation that this new development could mean couch potato gamers might actually get some exercise. Somehow I doubt it - let's face it some are so lazy they will simply choose games need little movement. The golf game on the Wii basic package can be played with one hand if you are want.

Another thing - I can see a new phenomenon in doctor's surgeries. Sports injuries from playing Wii too much. It's very possible - I felt a twinge in my arm the next day just from playing tennis so a really dedicated player could get a bad case of Wii elbow.

Anyway all of this blabbering is just an excuse to include a little video from the wonderful people at You Tube.

Enjoy.

Jedi Squirrels Terrorise Neighbourhood Parks

Park officials are becoming increasingly worried about the activity of squirrels in London's Hyde Park. Spokesperson Luke Nofurther said, "It was bad enough having to watch them nibbling their nuts but this is serious. They seem to be fighting among themselves."

He explained, "At first it seemed to be just playful but now they have all gotten light sabres - I blame the big asthmatic one in the black cloak."


Passers-by have also become worried. One said, "The kiddies loved to watch their antics but since the fencing started it's been hell. My little boy wants to join them and conquer the known universe. I want him to finish Key Stage Three first."

The latest development is the unusual construction work going on near the Serpentine Lido. Luke Nofurther said, "They seem to have brought in some Polish squirrels to build something. Obviously it was a bigger job than the domestic squirrels could handle. There are rumours that it might be a new Death Star."

JFK - The Truth is Out There, Far Out There

A new conspiracy theory about the deaths of John F Kennedy and his 'assassin' has emerged after a new photograph of Lee Harvey Oswald's 'murder'. The photograph clearly shows Ruby did not shoot Oswald as alleged but was a close friend and a mean guitarist. What is supposed to be a murder is actually an impromptu performance of 'Jailhouse Rock.'



American tabloid journalist, Saul Bollux, claims, "This is the truth - all those photos were clearly doctored to lead us a merry dance. Oswald was a singer - and a very good one too - but knew there was no future for his career back in the USSR. That's why he returned to Dallas."

Kennedy first met Oswald in the 1950s in a gay bar in Boston, Mass. "He was just seventeen - you know what I mean.", Bollux continued. "Kennedy was tiring of politics and wanted to escape. Pop music was the answer and his new gay lover offered that escape. But his father, Joe, wanted him to be President."

After his election the scene was set for JFK to engineer his own disappearance using Kennedy dollars and CIA know-how, claims Bollux. "Oswald was not the patsy - it was Jack Ruby. People have been sent to prison for crimes they didn't commit but his was a crime that didn't happen - his lawyer should have pointed it out but he was obviously in the pay of the Kennedys"

"The plan was to make everyone think JFK was dead and that his assassin was murdered - and it worked. The conspiracy theories only added to the myth. The truth is both Kennedy and Oswald left for a new life in Poughkeepsie, New York, where they had a little gay night club. Kennedy would often don pearls and twinset and Oswald his best tuxedo. They would sing duets from the Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme songbook till the early hours."

"They were a local sensation. J Edgar Hoover was a regular but didn't approve of the cross-dressing - pearls weren't his jewelry of choice."

But what about the Zapruder film? "Zapruder-Schmapruder - the film was left in a vault for years until the technology was developed to make it look like Kennedys brain exploded like a pumpkin. All the time he was living it up in the fleshpots of Poughkeepsie while Oswald sang Elvis songs - he was one of the all-time great Elvis impersonators"

If accepted the theory of Saul Bollux looks like overturning every account of the Kennedy assassination the public has ever heard.

"This is the truth, man - everything else is just a footnote in history."